Women who want out should not be able to leach off the soon to be ex…especially retirement funds as they are invested as individuals and not as couples. Rest assured that is not the rule, and it is too bad when it happens. I can relate because of similar behavior from my ex-husband. Oh trust me I no the feeling I am still married waiting to get divorced! And after 19 years of marriage I get told by a police detective that they have my husband in custody for stealing from his UPS job for two years and he has also been sleeping around with three well known prostatuits.
Ya really what the hell r u talking about, women are great. I am entitled to every single dime. Oh, and by the way. He does not contribute anything whatsoever for the family. My granddaughter has braces, but because this deadbeat dad decided he wanted a 22 yr. My daughter is getting nothing!!!!!!!! Well no one owes you an explanation and maybe this is not appropriate, but I know in life, everyone has a different experience.
I was a poor girl, who had not many options. I met a boy, 16, my 9th gr year, he had a car. His mother was an alcoholic and sold it from her house, being illegal. He had the idea we could leave these homes and make one of our own. I saw him as my hero for 35 yrs, till I realized that he had a lot of his mothrs personality traits. But he made work his addiction, and then in the laast 8yrs, I learned so much more about who he really became when we grew up. So you see, mine is just one example, of what a life can change to, most often much sooner in a marriage then mine did.
Whether we are in the USA or a very poor depleted country, we can find out the person we thought was our lifetime partner can make adjustments before we can see them. It happens to both men and women. In our country as in many others, women are the nurtures of children in home in most homes. So we somehow lose the opportunities some men get to have because they followed a traditional role. They went to work, wanting this arrangement, and then perhaps they met a new love interest or decided they no longer wanted tradition, and the task of dividing up your lives begins.
In my case, as I look back, I was terribly insecure due to not having parents interested in my education. Inever believed I could count money well, and was afraid to work with cash registers. Not having. But by then my husband was working 12hr days sometimes 7days a week…and I could not make enough for daycare…. I had to take breaks in school because all I could get was nightime classes from 7 to 10 pm…and sometimes they did not offer the class I needed at that hour, so I waited till they did…. I loved that job…I did not make a lot of money but thought I had some independence…..
I gave my checks to my husband to pay bills even though he was making 4times what I was….. I know that I was not as brave or smart like many women on here…but our stories are all important…. Tucker, you have described my ex husband. You sir, are very disrespectful to women, and to yourself. You need to pray, and ask God to forgive you, you are harboring a lot of resentment, bitterness, and you are unforgiving. We are not responsible for what another does to us, but we are responsible for how we respond to it. Your own words are indication your are no better than the person you described.
I will not allow my ex-husbands character to dictate who I am. I was not responsible for his infidelities and deceptions, I was responsible for who I was, I was a faithful, loving wife, who wanted a godly marriage, but ended up with a demon. First, we need to look at who we are, and be the best spouse we can be, if our mate does not follow, at least we do not have to answer to God for our disobedience, but the unfaithful spouse will, whether it be a woman or a man. God is no respecter of persons.
When a spouse bruises you and points a gun at your forehead and leaves for another women just because its all about self. I think you better rethink what you said. Are you serious, how many affairs are acceptable to you? How many times does it take for a man to hit verbally abuse belittle threaten to have you baker acted for not accepting what he is doing?
I assume you were taken to the cleaners by your divorce.. You are pathetic. Most women take care of their children, take care of their family, take care of their friends and take care of domestic pets. If this is pathetic, so be it. Now look at most women: they take care of everyone but themselves. I am trying to make it go with my husband, I am not the person who has to tell him or insinuate what he should or should not do. I am trying to be myself without controlling him and am waiting to see if he notices that I love him. However, I will no longer ignore my own needs.
He did many terrible things there and had to be transferred to a nursing home that also had the ability to deal with patients with mental problems. I took care of him 24 hours a day for the previous 9 years before he went into the nursing home. We have been married for 19 years now. He gets social security disability and retirement.
I cannot work because I am now disabled and cannot get social security because I have not worked for the past 9 years due to taking care of him and the new law regarding this. He now says that he does not love me anymore. He also has a life insurance policy that I am the sole beneficiary of. If we get a divorce, what should I ask for? Also I do not have health insurance and have many medical bills. Please consult with an attorney familiar with the laws of your state, so that you get competent legal guidance.
Hi Ms. I know he will want to protect all his assets, and I have none. He has been freelancing and supporting us the entire time. I spent the little bit of savings I had on our wedding, the move and household goods within the first month of our marriage. So I suppose she could contest, but that would require paying her for it, involving lawyers etc. I was thinking of asking for a lump sum are there tax repercussions? Will I be short changing myself this way? Is it fair or less than fair? And if my husband refuses any or all of this, what should I do to protect and assert my rights?
You need to consult an attorney who is familiar with the laws of your state who can advise you. The laws of each state is different. The entire year? I did not support my husband during his PhD education although we did live together. This request was a few weeks after he had an affair with a 21 year old girl. I have given up my job to move cross country with him, and I am now living in an extremely rural, low-income area with a high unemployment rate. I am searching for work, but my chances of receiving medical benefits are extremely limited.
This will become a problem because I am on very expensive medication that I cannot afford without insurance I am currently on his insurance through his job. We purchased his car by selling mine, and we were both employed and paid the car off together. I have a new car with extremely high payments that he has offered to take over for me for the duration of the loan. I do not have that in writing, so I sent an email to him last night asking him for clarification on our financial discussions to that we are on the same page.
My husband will be returning to live at our house because it is not currently in a condition for sale lots of little problems, wallpaper that is peeling off walls, broken windows, chipped paint outdoors, nasty lawn, etc. Friends have suggested that I contact an attorney, but I am currently unemployed.
I contacted legal aid, and I cannot speak with them until I have been served papers. I recently left my job for him because he said that he wanted me home with him. My boss told me that if I quit, I will not have the option of returning. I am scared. We also deferred our taxes due to the difficulties in our relationship.
I have handed our accountant all of my documentation including deductibles, etc. The accountant discovered that I am having the proper amount of taxes pulled from my income but he is not. He also has a consulting job and has not been putting aside any money for taxes from that job. If we file jointly, my state taxes will cover most of what is federally owed. Ok, this is too long. I have been married for 8 year. My husband and I have been together for 11 years.
I am to the point that I do not like him at all. I love him, we made 3 wonderful children together. Currently within last 3 months , he pays all the bills and is the only one working. But lately, within the last year, we have been drifting apart. I am depressed and have gained 25 pounds in just the last 2 months. Sex is a chore now, I feel like I have to do it to get extras around the house, even necessities that pertain to me. I am tired of it. There are men that ask me out sometimes but since I am married I decline.
I feel like I am missing out on how I should be treated. It seems like I will be married like some of these women who have commented, for 20 and 40 years miserable…. We are living parallel lives minus the children. My husband and I have been together for almost 8 years and at the end of this week we will be married for 5. This last year has been so rough for me health wise and I spent a lot of time by myself…depressed, sick, etc and all the while…my husband would come home from work and not speak to me.
I know it was hard for him because he felt there was nothing he could do, but at the same time…I was a alone all day…sick and scared and needing that affection. It gave me so much time to think about who I am and what I want. My husband has never tried to really get to know my family or gotten along with them. He has held onto grudges from arguments he has had with my sister and mother from like 7 years ago.
A few months ago I told him that I was thinking about a divorce and he was shocked. After a few weeks.. I told him years ago that I respect the fact that he is uncomfortable with sex on a regular basis, but that was when we were intimate all the time…. We hardly even kiss!! He supports me totally financially and while I know I would be entitled to half of everything including the house …I worry about this. My brother in law is ready to snap at him and my father who is laid back and has never said a bad word about my husband, spoke up to me about it this weekend when he husband refused to come to my parents to spend the day with my sister and her new baby.
I would never cheat on him either. I hope for both our sakes, we are able to sort it out and move on with our lives. Best of luck to you and your family! I hope it all works out!! Hey Jenna, sorry you are having to deal with marriage troubles. Now would be a great time to consider long-term career and financial plans. Also, it might be worth it to put whatever work you can into the marriage before seriously considering divorce even if it means going to counseling, etc. Some couples can work things out and are glad they hung in there through the tough moments in their marriage. My wife worked for years at a lucrative job until our son was born, then she stayed home for 4 years raising him and his brother.
Instead of returning to her career, she then spent 5 years in graduate school getting another degree. That finished, then she went back and got a job in the field where she was before unrelated to her new degree. Can I get reimbursed for the living expenses, travel, etc. This is in California.
But maybe this goes to the spousal support issue — your attorney can guide you. This is my third failed marriage…I have two young daughters and no family to lean on. My husband wants a divorce and we were barely surviving financially, so I have no idea how im gonna start all over AGAIN.
My girls are not his, so he can basically walk away. I even tried to swallow my pride and apply for public assistance and they same I make too much money, which is complete BS. I only need help with daycare expenses, im not asking for anything else. My parents live miles away and are somewhat ailing. Im stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I am sick of men making promises they cant keep. After three attempts at marriage, I think I know how to be a wife by now. There is nothing anyone can do to help, but typing this help a little…it hurts, too….
If you make too much, bring in ALL your bills, utilities, prescriptions, medical out of pocket, checking acct statements whatever, to see what money is going out, and you may qualify due to household size. We got divorce on December. We have two children together. He cheated and I stupidly forgive him because he said that that relationship was nothing to him.
We have being living together but I just realize a couple of hours ago that everything was a lie! I saw a few emails between him and the other woman. He says that he works at night, but I believe that he lives with his lover and lies to her telling her that he is at work during the day, which reality is, he is at home with us all this time. I really need financial help. I have a part time job and I also go to college. He has threaten me many times before saying that the judge will give him full custody because I have no money!
And that if I go see I lawyer he would make my life hell! We rent and he has kick me out the house before because, according to him, he pays full rent to the apartment is his. If I leave with my children right know he might call the police on me. Call the bar association in your area and ask if there are low-income consultations avaialable. You need to learn your rights, and pronto. With him putting so many restraining orders on me trying to control me through the system has ruined my background so all the schooling I had for a CNA is no good no one will hire me so what do I do?
Talk to an attorney to see what you can do to stop the restraining orders, if anything. Also talk about whether it is legal for employers to discriminate against you on the basis of those restraining order. Washington state. Married 22 years. Amicable talks so far. His hot button is for me not to ask for half of his pension. He has offered lump sum of equity in home, approx. Should I accept and not look back? Home value is approx k and pension statements show a monthly retirement income of approx. We part with no other debt than the mortgage.
No savings to split. You need to consult an attorney familiar with the laws of your state. Similar story except we are gay. Which is like 12 years. So pension being the hot issue, she benefits from the Jim Crow treatment. We fortunately were able to split assets but I want part of that pensions as I moved from the east coast to CA to be with her from the start to the finish of that job.
I feel like taking this to the Supreme Court. Married for more than 16 years, want a divorce a liar husband, I tried many times to forgive him but he keep hiding the truth, now he is unemployed and collecting his unemployment. I just cant afford to pay a lawyer, what can I do?
Check with your local courthouse to see if they have someone available that you can talk to about how to proceed. They can give you the packet of appropriate papers to file. I am house bound due to the chronic fatigue. Due to this, I am stuck. I am in the same boat. Have Heavy Metal Poisoning and Cavitation infection from a root canal that turned systemic. Conventional medicine does not recognize any of this at all…they do not treat this kind of thing. Healing from this often takes years and funds for chelating, etc.
In the meantime it is debilitating. I am stuck between a rock and hard place regarding my husband who does not want to help me, but cannot leave because have no where to go and no income besides again, can BARELY function. My husband has already served me papers and keeps trying to throw me out. I also have two children, one who is 10 and I do not trust my husband in raising him…. I am so scared…do not know what to do and cannot even get to a lawyer or pay for anything.
Unless you are capable of researching the law and representing yourself, and you clearly are not, you need legal help fast, to get alimony and child support and settle child custody issues. The welfare of your family is on the line. My sister in law has been divorced for almost ten years.
She was awarded the house in the divorce decree, but when she pays her mortgage, her husbands name still appears on it alongside hers. She is wanting to move out of the house because the bills are more than she can afford. This is a red flag in my mind. Can she lose the house to her husband if he takes over the payments while living in it? It is possible that it was never put into her name, in which case she should get that done immediately, since she was awarded ownership of the house. Yes, my lifestyle as I knew it changed. I was just as broke at first, but my lifestyle improved considerably just not having to deal with having a substance abuser doing his level best to undermine every attempt I made to get on top of our finances and get some security in our lives.
The peace of mind alone was a huge improvement. We are not alone…we only are made to feel we are! Your worth it! You were too strong, you gave too much. Find your strength and yourself now. For we are Women, We have the strenth to help another up and not even think of ourselves. That is where we go wrong.
Our greatest strength, leaves us open and becomes our greatest weakness. It gives me the strength to go forward every day.
Again, Thank You! My abusive husband of 30 yrs just awarded the house from the divorce decree. Dower rights yes you do. If someone gets hurt, they will come after you to sue, so I would stake your claim or get it off. Chicago — The buyer of my home in Chicago is going through a divorce. The closing on my house has been delayed twice. Do you think this deal will close?
I do not know what the mortgage company will do, nor do I know why the bank requires that information. State of Virginia: Just curious since my husband abandoned the marital home, the marriage, our infant son, all while knowing that he was the bread winner and I was stay at home housewife for the 5 years we were together, almost 4 of them married. I do not have a degree to fall back on, and need to go back to college in order to support myself and my son.
My husband has had NO contact with us, not even asking how his 9 month old son is. Not a word. I am seeking temporary spousal support for medical co-payments, and basic needs up until the divorce. Is this normal in a situation like this? My attorney believes that I am entitled to some sort of support because of the nature of the abandonment, lifestyle maintained during the marriage and having to move back in with my parents who they themselves are having a hard time supporting us.
The cost of putting our son in day care is ridiculous at this time because of his age- a week, and my husband refuses to pay half. We are in the separation stage. I am afraid to file for anything yet until I have residency in my parents state, so I will have full physical custody. I stayed until he left because of the constant threats against me. What are you opinions on temporary spousal support while going to college?
Wife has cheated repeatedly, we have three kids. She started her last affair when our youngest was just 2 months old. She is ruining us financially and me or a personal level. What should I do?? I have since changed things and am going to therapy. In the interim she attended a bachelorette party with her girlfriends in Las Vegas and had a brief fling, which I found out about and have already forgiven her.
Recently she has been meeting with a trust lawyer to set up a trust for her father, since her mother has been in a nursing home since having a stroke last November. How do I know if she is actually not just setting up a trust to keep all of the assets and leave me high and dry?
In most states property is divided either equitably or equally. Hi, im an Australian citizen married in France. I have a beautiful little boy nearly 2 years old and i have no idea what to do or how to leave my husband with full custody of my son. My husband swears he wont let me leave with my little one and i stay because i wont go without him.
We are miserable and im stuck here. My husband always tells me i am stupid, even though im not, we fight all the time and we dont talk about anything else other than our son. My son was born in France so i know we have to stick to their laws. It sucks because i got myself into a situation that is difficult to get out of but i stay and suffer because i could never leave my son and my husband has made it clear that he will fight me for custody.
My son keeps me here. It is sad really, i know he deserves better but there is not much more i can do. I have the strength but i dont have the support. I cant risk losing my son. Everybody, please help! My story is long but I try to cut it short. I am divorced and still living in the condo we both own. This one used to be a rental property it is under our names. Now, he is pushing me either buy his half or he will let the court make auction out of it.
I am worried that I will loose this home, which is my only place to live. Will it happen like he said. I am living in Pitt County, North Carolina. Any info is highly appreciative. Thank you, Phi. I walked out of my marriage 6yrs ago that would 24yrs married. I have had 3 order of protection on those 24yrs being married to him. I put him thru school?..
I put my school on hold, and after i left him, I couldnt go and better myself because they asked me for his financials and he wouldnt help me. Just didnt know all my life he was bi-sexual, until one day i got in the home computer and started looking at things and saw his profile on gay. I just couldnt anymore.. I live in NY. Have 3 children. Also, how hard is it to obtain sol legal custody? I have always been the primary care giver and decision maker but am afraid he will fight me. Thank you! You need to consult an attorney who can tell you how custody works in your state, and what you need to do to get physical and legal custody.
I have a question about diverce and Medical insurance. I was legally divorced in and my ex-husband was on my medical plan at work prior to the divorce. The divorces states that each person should obtain their own medical and I would continue my daughter on my medical. So once I received the divorce judgement I contacted my company and filed for a change of status. All of which I advised him I was doing through the duration of the long battle.
He never filed for COBRA because he thought it was too much money and then he kept trying to use the medical card from when he was under my plan and obtained medical services with it. Legally my company requires that a change of status is filed within 31 days of the event. So am I in any way responsible for his medical bills? You have a legal document, your divorce decree, that says that he should get his own medical. You can consult your attorney to make sure this is correct.
Back in Feb, my soon to be ex tolde he wanted a divorce. A week later he moved out with his current girlfriend has since knocked her up and greed has taken over. We have a wonderful 4 year old who is confused and scared. He earned his citizenship through our marriage. Married almost 8 years. The house was purchased with the help of my dad, who gave me the down payment and my brother who is a mortgage broker, and my mom and family who gave us funds to fit it up.
Originally he said we could stay in the condo. As the market is on the rebound, the values of the house has increased substantially… And he is dragging his feet while he sits back with his new life and family as I pay all the bills. Two months ago he informed me he wants to sell, as he needs to pay his credit card bills! More important that he pay his bills than keep his child in her family home.
I have given him several offers, his response was to send an appraiser to the house. As time goes by, I have slowly learned that I will have to let go of the house. Since I live in a state where the value of the home is closer to the court date and not the date of separating, I got shafted by bad timing and luck. Is there anything I can do to ask the courts to keep the value of the home at the time of seperation?
I have a lawyer, he finally got one. I live in a great area with great school, but will have to leave as I will not be able to afford to live here. Any advice? Thanks for this advice ladies… I use this info to divorce my wife, and i have a strong shot at getting custody of the kids since i am the primary care giver.. Many of my male friends are discovering the benefit of the Internet. I have been married for 34 years and 4 months ago my husband tells me that he has been seeing someone else and they care deeply for one another.
I attempted to save the marriage by offering to do what ever it took and the only thing he had to do was end it with the other woman. One week later I hired an attorney to start divorce proceedings. We own a business together and it is in his name because in I had to file personal bankruptcy because of personal guarantees on equipment from a failing business. The business we now have was a spawn off of my other business which is based on my past employment as a graphic artist.
During the past 6 years, we have relied on his income from working offshore to pay all the bills because the business could not support us totally. In the divorce papers from his lawyer, he states that he will sign the house over to me but I must refinance it so that his name will not be on the mortgage any more which is fine with me. But here is my question, will I be able to do that since it has not been 7 years since I filed chapter 7 bankruptcy? Can you help me with this? He now tells me he wants a divorce. Can I get reimbursed for paying his loans because it is obvious that I supported him while paid off his loans.
Interestingly enough I still have loans of my own. Find out from an attorney about what your Ph. T Putting Hubby Through is worth — many states have provisions for these situations. This issue goes way back when docs would marry during med school and divorce right after the wife paid for school or supported him used to be almost all male doctors, remember?! Now if you marry during med school the divorcing spouse can get a part of future earnings esp because you invested in him.
Please be sure to check out the rulings and laws but you have a pretty great chance of doing well with this as it is not a new issue. We got married at the end of internship and are divorcing after 29 years because he likes the pretty nurses. He said they make eyes at him. Best to you,. The value of Ph. T Putting hubby Through degrees vary from state to state, so be sure to seek legal advice about this issue in your area. This is a great post on Financial Pitfalls of Divorce. I am a 60 year old female and have filed for divorce in PA after 32 years of marriage.
The home is paid for and the assets are very good. The children are grown and though I have no attachment to the home and would like to move on….. Many friends say stay in house. Please advise. Call your local courthouse and see what low cost legal advice might be available to you.
You need to see an attorney to get answers to your questions. Better to stay single and date the occasional woman. My advice to you is to never marry an American. My husband of almost 11 years has decided he wants out. I have been a stay at home mom for the past 5 years because I could not find a job in our small university town. I am back in school pursuing another degree. We have two children in elementary school. The one where I do all the landscaping, repairs, painting, decorating, cleaning and so on.
I feel like he wants it off the marriage, he should get out of the house. We used my k as a down payment on the house. So I have no retirement of my own. We are trying to do this without lawyers. If I get a lawyer, I will only strain the savings I would entitled to. Whereas he has his rich 91 yr old grandmother and very well off mom to turn to.
My mom can barely make her own ends meet. Am I entitled to to a portion of his retirement? I takes care of it and the kids. You are probably entited to part of the retirement, part of the house, and support based on his income from his wages and earnings on his inheritance. Since your k was used for the down payment on the house, you may be able to get that money back as well. Get a lawyer pronto. If he kept it separate then its all his. You need an atty to get what the CPA describes above. My husband left me one year agou.
I am steal in apartment. We are both owners. We own mortgage to bank. We do not have kids. Thank you for your experiance. One of you will take the apartment and mortgage in the divorce. But i will stay in appartment mortgage is on my name and i pay mortgage. I would like to know how and what to pay him if is. If I have to pay him how and how much.
More and more women are primary breadwinners now— in America, more than half. As a career woman with a stay-at-home husband, I have a very hard time finding articles and advice geared toward my situation. We certainly understand your point — but the norm in most households still that women make less than men, and so that is the reason many articles use that approach. You can sometimes just reverse the roles discussed in articles to make them relevant to your situation. Your situation is rather new but becoming more popular and issues related are coming fast.
I could throug up. Totally sexistic the advice you give. All my marriage I felt like a paycheck to my exwife. The true reason for financial crash is that women feel entitled. This is the 21 century, men have changed live has changed. If you get into the mode — that somebody must take care of you of course when the — taking care periode ends — there standard of living drops.
Do I feel sorry for women? I left the house because I was fearing for my live and savety. I was put before the question to see my children in forster care or no file domestic violance charges against my wife. Quote from the police officer: That you barrikaded in a room saved you from going to yail. Thus as we men are basically without any recourse against abusive spouces and your general mental state let me question what advise did you get when you grew up. I was 8 months homeless, saved by strangers of the street. I left the house, with dollar in cash to survive till I got my next paycheck.
I fully supported my wife and children from the first day. I did this — even I was slowly recovering from , everything is about your standard of living. I was working day and night. What does my ex do, complaining about homework — which I am glad to do — because live is such a bear for you. I am glad to say that I rather raise my children as a single father — pay to never hear your voice or see your face — just to have my peace, because you are never happy or easy.
As I said, somebody screwed you up, and when we start to fianlly be left alone and do our thing without bleeding just to see our children, of course we are better of.
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We are battle hardened and I never again feel sorry for you. HERE is the advice for all sons and daughters. If you feel love separate yourself form all property. Never marrie out of class or out of education. You will pay a prise. LET your wife work all the time. Take a paycut father. Have two houses. One for her and one for you. That is why you have nothing, This fake excuse that your standard of living drops because of your bad bad ex … bullshit … you enjoyed something you never earned.
And if you think we owe you that is the mindset that keeps you hostage. It sounds as though you really had a rough time. I hope you someday realize that not all women are like your perception of your ex-wife, and that you can learn to trust and love again. Just wondering, how much should a woman be paid for growing an entirely new organ in her body during pregnancy, the placenta, eating, breathing, and having her organs do the work for two per second, minute, hour, day, week, because, and only because, your sperm invaded her egg, invited or not. Done nothing? You know how tired you feel at the end of the day?
Let me see: 24 hours day X 7 days per week X 40 plus weeks and that was just in hours……. Hope your not telling this to your children, or involving them in your upset. Please use your frustrations, thoughts and feelings to make something positive of all this. I can see your very bitter. It sounds like you and your wife started having problems from the beginning. Perhaps when we have recurrent problems that keep us in turmoil, its better to move on early on.
I can tell you from experience that when we take on relationships, we bring our upbringing into it. We come into it with certain expectations based on what we did or did not get from our childhoods. By you trying to sway your child to think like a male who does not trust women, will not allow him to form his own opinion. You are guaranteeing his failure in a future life he may have with a woman.
My spouse I believe had mistrust of women based on having a bad female role model, which abused alcohol and had relationships with men that showed a trashy side. Its hard enough for women to find men whose mothers did not raise them poorly causing them to have badly developed visions of women. When a boy cannot have his male role model demonstrate his own security around females, it is a recipe for disaster.
Men do not process the same as women, they do not reason the same and have more struggles with emotions and trust. It might sound like generalizations, but this is a topic that has been studied repeatedly, and the same conclusions reached. I would ask you to please reconsider your take away experience with your wife and realize that sometimes we are just paired with the wrong person. Encourage your children to be independent no matter what. Talk to them about the importance of choosing friends, jobs and decisions wisely, because there are do overs once they have made horrible mistkes regarding another person.
A math answer can be erased and re written, but hurtful words or decisions that alter their life plan cannot. As much as your bitterness might want to show, do not let it among your children. They will grow up believing they were the product of that terrible mistake you call their Mom. You cannot control what your ex does, but you can control how you continue forward with this. No you cannot take back things you have said, but you can take conrol of your thoughts from here on out…. You need to know, you are not hurting your wife, but your kids will bear the brunt of your actions.
Please reconsider them. Myself too facing the same problem. I had a question about divorce in Ohio. I have been married for 15 years and have 4 children. We have lived in the same house since before we were married which is still in his mothers name and not either of ours. I have always been a stay at home mom raising our children while he goes to work.
I want our children to live in the same area so they have their school and friends. My parents live in the same area. Consult an attorney in your area who is knowledgable about Ohio family law. In many states a home that has been shared by the family is treated as a marital residence even if owned by just one spouse. She never transferred it to us. What family court judge would ever allow a mother with four children be put out of a home that the grandmother owns? What about putting up with your crazy family? The smoking bigot mother-in-law that only came twice a year to see her grandkids, yet the kids had to act like she was thier BEST friend!
By the time we got to the lake his wife was calling every 30 minutes to come home so she could go shop at garage-sales! Talk about fun! If any of you are like the woman my soon to be exwife turned about to be, please get some help before you sucker another sucker in marrying you.
Do it for yourselves, then maybe your marriage will last and we won;t need blogs like this one to turn to. I know there has to be several women on here that have tried to be good wives, but sadly there are some of you and you know who you are that need help. Get some counseling to get over your anger because then you can have a better life and be a better dad.
You know you guys make men out to be so horrible. Not to be a jack ass or to use him as some kind of leverage but because I love my son damn it. I need advise, I am planning ahead for a divorce… I am on my second marriage and it is headed for divorce. I work full time 5 days a week and he has not even tried to get a job for the past 4 years. We have no children together.
I have an IRA from before we were married that has maybe doubled in growth since our marriage. His name has never been on this IRA account. I also have a K from the past 5 years while we were married, that I know he will get half of. He has not contributed to either of these funds. I feel I have worked to hard to pay the mortgage and all the household bills. He has stayed home and kept the house in order, nothing else. Is he entitled to half of my IRA Fund also? If so what can I do now to change it so he can not get any. If nothing has beeen added to your IRA during marriage, then it is likely your separate property.
Check with an attorney to see if that is the law in your state. Each state is different. Been married for 18 years. My husband has PTSD and chronic depession due to a gun wound shot to the head. He has bullet fragments logded in his brain and has chronic migraines that effect his behavior each and every day. He will verbally lashes out at my son and I at any given moment. We have a long history of fighting an even police arrests. He is currently not able to work which leaves me stuck with all of the household bills.
He has basically given up. We have a home together that I do not want to leave because of our son. The bottom line is that I have to get out of this marriage. Need help in getting organized. I am employeed, making 80 grand a year. Please assist. Seek legal advice as soon as you can. I am currently divorcing in a community property state after 21 years of marriage. He would have to borrow the money to pay me this from his father or take an advance on his inheritance.
He is 53, I am This means for me, of course, no mortgage and no rent. The house DOES need work — the kitchen and bathroom need to be re-done and the roof is looking as though it might be worse for wear, but is currently in shape as it keeps the rain out. For now. As part of the divorce, we filed Ch. If I could count on the buyout of the pension, I would use those funds to buy the house and do the repairs it needs.
Again, I apologize for this long post. I should have said — the house is currently livable — it just needs the kitchen and bathroom redone. I can use both rooms, I just want to bring them to the present day vs. For instance, I want a gas stove, but the only hook up is electric. That kind of stuff. So, my husband drinks a lot. Two bottles a night. He is not the same man I married. We have two kids, and he has two from another marriage. Some of my student loans were taken out while we were married. The house is in his name. I moved in when he had owned it less than 1 year.https://www.hiphopenation.com/mu-plugins/oxnard/dating-a-woman-as.php
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What can I do? I am so scared of not making it financially…. If he have income from any source, then he will owe you child support and possibly alimony as well. Gather together your financial records tax returns and W-2s and paystubs and see an attorney immediately to find out how much support you are entitled to. Having that information will make it easier for you to make a logical decision. For that, Roffman believes, Trump had him fired. Trump submitted a plan for a convention center to city officials.
It was unbelievable. He almost got us to name the convention center after his father in return for something he never really had to give away. His partner at the time was the well-respected Pritzker family of Chicago, who owned the Hyatt chain. Their contract was specific: Trump and Jay Pritzker agreed that if there were any sticking points they would have a ten-day period to arbitrate their differences.
At one point, they had a minor disagreement. He was on a mountain in Nepal. I gave you the ten days. But you were in Nepal. Pritzker was his partner, not his enemy! This is how he acted on his first important deal. It was 50, fewer than that. When the stock market collapsed, he announced that he had gotten out in time and had lost nothing. In the s, Trump and Beame shared a close friend and lawyer, a captain in a Brooklyn political club named Bunny Lindenbaum. At that time, Beame worked in the city budget office; thirty years later he would become mayor of the city.
Trump, Lindenbaum, and Beame often saw one another at dinner dances and fund-raisers of the Brooklyn political clubs. It is impossible to overestimate the power of these clubs in the New York of the s; they created Fred Trump and gave him access to his largest acquisition, the seventy-five-acre parcel of city land that would become the 3,unit Trump Village. In , an immense tract of land off Ocean Parkway in Brooklyn became available for development. The City Planning Commission had approved a generous tax abatement for a nonprofit foundation to build a housing cooperative.
Fred Trump wound up with two-thirds of the property, and within a year he had broken ground on Trump Village. The following year, Lindenbaum organized a fund-raising lunch for Wagner, who was running for re-election. The lunch party made the front page of the newspapers, and Lindenbaum, disgraced, was forced off the commission. But Robert Wagner won the election, and Beame became his comptroller. It boggles the mind! Donald Trump has always viewed his father as a role model. His father, who came here from Sweden. So what? Although Fred Trump was born in New Jersey, family members say he felt compelled to hide his German background because most of his tenants were Jewish.
Swedish, and really sort of all over Europe. Would I come meet with the president? Donald Trump appears to take aspects of his German background seriously. Kennedy now guards a copy of My New Order in a closet at his office, as if it were a grenade. I thought he would find it interesting. Later, Trump returned to this subject. Is Ivana trying to convince her friends and lawyer that Trump is a crypto-Nazi? Trump is no reader or history buff. Trump continues to endow his diminishing world with significance as well. Fred Trump, like his son, has never resisted exaggeration.
The house, however, was in Queens. Donald would someday envision a larger world. My father had no interest in that kind of thing at all. Donald Trump often went with his father to construction sites, for they were extraordinarily close, almost kindred spirits. Donald was one of five children, the second son. As a child, he was so boisterous that his parents sent him away to military school. He became forceful, and grew even closer to his father. You have to be hitting back! Family members say that the firstborn son, Fred junior, often felt shut out by the relationship between Donald and his father.
As a young man, he announced his intention to be an airplane pilot. Ivana has always told her close friends that she believed the pressure put on him by his father and his brother hastened his early death. I had success, and that put pressure on Fred too. What is this, a psychoanalysis of Donald? When Donald exploded, Robert packed his boxes and left.
He and Blaine went to her family for Easter. What is the status of that? Stanley M. In New York, Trump soon became known for his confrontational style. She took Donald to meet every city and state power broker and worked on the sale of the Trump Tower apartments. Real-estate tax is immensely complicated. Often profit-and-loss accounting does not run parallel with cash flow. Sometimes a developer can have tremendous cash flow and yet not report taxable earnings; tax laws also permit developers to have less cash flow and greater taxable earnings.
It is up to the developer. Sunshine was so stunned by this that she went to her friend billionaire Leonard Stern for help. And as a result, the details of his duplicitous treatment would not only come to the attention of the public but also to the Casino Control Commission. Sunshine repaid Leonard Stern. For several years, Trump and Sunshine had a cool relationship. But in fine New York style, they are now friends again.
Like Michael Milken, Trump began to believe that his inordinate skills could be translated into any business. He started to expand out of the familiar world of real estate into casinos, airlines, and hotels. With Citicorp as his enabler, he bought the Plaza and the Eastern shuttle. He managed them both surprisingly well, but he had paid too much for them. He always had the ready cooperation of the starstruck banks, which would later panic.
We used to have to pick through the financings; the banks could not sign on fast enough to anything Donald conceived. His fix was spending money. When Mortimer Zuckerman, the chairman and C. One image of Ivana and Donald Trump sticks in my memory. Wintertime, three years ago. They were at the Wollman Rink. Donald had just fixed it up for the city.
He had been crowing in the newspapers about what dummies Mayor Koch and the city had been, wasting years and money and coming up with nothing on the skating rink. Trump had taken over the job and done it well. If he grabbed more of the credit than he deserved, no one really held it against him; the rink was open at last and filled with happy skaters. Ivana was wearing a striking lynx coat which showed her blond hair to advantage.
Their arms were around each other. They looked so very young and rich, living in the moment of their success. A polite crowd had gathered to congratulate them on the triumph of the rink. The people near Donald appeared to feel enlivened by his presence, as if he were a hero. The Trumps were late, and this was not a dinner to be taken lightly. The hosts had a family name that evoked the very history of New York, yet as if they had recognized another force coming up in the city, they were honoring Donald and Ivana Trump. Trump entered the room first. Trump paid little attention to his blonde companion, and no one in the room recognized Ivana until she began to speak.
What has she done to herself? Her limbs had been resculpted, and her cleavage astonishingly enhanced. The guests were so confused by her looks that her presence created an odd mood. All through dinner Donald fidgeted. He looked at his watch. He mentioned repeatedly that he was at that moment on the Larry King show, as if he expected the guests to get up from their places.
He had been belligerent to King that night, and he wanted the guests to see him, perhaps to confirm his powers. Pose with me! Come on! They were at the Waldorf-Astoria, at an awards ceremony sponsored by the Fragrance Foundation, and Ivana was a presenter. The carpet was shabby in the Jade Room; the paparazzi were waiting to pounce.
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The most expensive couture dress looked, under the blue-green tint of the lights, cheap. I was surprised that she appeared. Ivana smiled, as if she were a presidential candidate. She wore a full-skirted mint-green satin beaded gown; her hair was swept off her face in a chignon. Ivana was at the Waldorf by P. She could not afford now to alienate the perfume establishment by canceling, for soon she would be merchandising a fragrance, and she would need their goodwill. Ivana seemed determined to keep her new stature in the city of alliances, for her financial future depended on her being able to salvage the brand name.
As a woman alone, with a reduced fortune, Ivana was entering a tough world. She had no Rothkos to hock and no important jewels. But she did have the name Ivana, and she was making plans to market scarves, perfumes, handbags, and shoes, as once her husband had been able to market the name Trump. Several feet away from us, the local CBS reporter was doing a stand-up for the evening news.
It is a cold world out here. Ivana even allowed the CBS reporter to shove a microphone into her face. Ivana had become, like Donald, a double agent, able to project innocence and utter confidence. She had, in fact, almost turned into Donald Trump. Marla can do any movie she wants to now. When people give me a punch in the nose, I react by getting even tougher. Ivana had been given the responsibility of supervising all the decoration; she was hard at it, despite the fact that she was wearing a white wool Thierry Mugler jumpsuit and pale Dior shoes as she picked her way through the sawdust.
Screaming at her employees had become part of her hallmark, perhaps her way of feeling power. Later, in Atlantic City, she would become known for her obsession with cleanliness. Ivana is deaf, dumb, and blind when it comes to Donald. The Trumps hired two nannies and a bodyguard for their children. She went to work running Trump Castle casino in Atlantic City, often spending two or three days a week there supervising the staff.
Determined to bring glamour to Trump Castle, she became famous for her attention to appearances, once moving a pregnant waitress, desperate for big tips, off the casino floor. Soon after Trump Tower was completed, the Trumps took possession of their triplex. Yet the kitchen of her city apartment, which she designed, is tiny, no more than a kitchenette, tiled with gold linoleum.
The Trump living room has a beige onyx floor with holes carved out to fit the carpets. There is a waterfall cascading down a marble wall, an Italianate fountain, and the famous murals. Their bedroom had a glass wall filled with arrangements of silk flowers. She called in a renowned decorator.
Christmas Eve, three years ago.
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Ivana had received another stack of legal documents the size of a telephone book. Sign it! Donald pressed her, according to Kennedy. Trump seemed extraordinarily concerned that she sign the papers, perhaps because an Atlantic City photographer was threatening to blackmail him with photos he had taken of him and Marla Maples. However efficiently Ivana ran Trump Castle, she seemed terrified of her husband. The tactics he used in business he now brought home. She blamed herself. Atlantic City was to be their playground.
Ivana had once warned her husband against Atlantic City. Though Ivana had established herself in Atlantic City to please Donald, her presence there now, with Marla on the scene, was an inconvenience to him. I will pay her one dollar a year and all the dresses she can buy! She could have made a fortune in the last six months if she had wanted to!
This past February, Trump took off for Japan, telling reporters he would be attending the Mike Tyson fight. As he was flying back, he was radioed on the plane. The entire sordid history of Marla Maples and Ivana fighting on the Aspen ski slopes was all over the papers.
Ivana had done to Donald what years ago he had done to Jay Pritzker in Nepal. From the airplane, Trump called Liz Smith. The Japanese bankers with whom Trump had negotiated a tentative sale suddenly backed off. Several weeks later, Donald called Ivana. We could say that we wanted to see who would side with you and who would side with me. Ivana began to repair old feuds all over town.
I always liked you. Who was that for, her new best friend, Jerry Zipkin? The scandal was seriously affecting the Trump children. Donny junior was being ridiculed at the Buckley School. Ivancka had been in tears at Chapin. When Donald and Marla Maples attended the same Elton John concert, Donny junior cried, for his father had told the children he would give Marla Maples up. The railroad tracks were rusty, the land was overgrown. The property stretched on, block after block. It was cool by the Hudson River that morning, with a pleasant breeze whipping over the water.
The only sign of Trump was a high storm fence topped with elaborate curls of barbed wire to keep out the homeless people who live nearby. Ivana had left for London to take part in one more public-relations event promoting the Plaza, only this time her friends the Baron and Baroness Ricky di Portanova were rumored to be paying the bill. In London, she was cosseted by Eleanor Lambert, the doyenne of fashion publicists. Sir Humphry Wakefield assembled a list of titled guests for a dinner, but there was friction between him and Ivana.
When the guests, including the Duchess of Northumberland, arrived, many of them were displeased that they had been lured to a dinner which, to their surprise, was in honor of Ivana Trump. That Saturday, New York seemed oddly vacant without the Trumps. Donald had left for his birthday party in Atlantic City. Hundreds of casino employees had been told to be on the Boardwalk to greet him, since Manhattan boosters were in short supply.
Trump arrived very late, flanked by his bodyguards. His face was hard, his mouth set into a line. The size of the portrait was unsettling on the Atlantic City Boardwalk: ten feet of the Donald, leaning forward on his elbow, his face frozen in the familiar defiant smirk. Much of his empire would probably have to be dismantled, but he would retain control.
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Trump crowed about the bailout. Not exactly. The banks would never have asked me for my future inheritance, and I would never have given it.